An Argument for Journaling

So, it has been decided. I shall, after a very long departure, resume journal writing. My blog will probably receive some versions of the entries at times. That is the point, actually: to use a journal as a tool for me to process my thoughts and bring clarity to the often broad and spaghetti-like intertwining of a woman's mind in her early twenties, so that those thoughts are able to be communicated to others in helpful and constructive ways.

I must thank the people who have brought up the journal topic at various times in the past several months. The final straw that caved me in was a group effort in our small group at Sola last night.

I had been avoiding journal writing for a few reasons, although I was not fully aware of my reasons.

I find much more value in "speaking to yourself rather than listening to yourself." It is possible that journaling/keeping a diary can serve as a way to vent and confirm sinful feelings. For instance, you could sulk in a pity-party and be completely consumed with yourself through the way you use a journal. However, this is really not a good excuse because practically any time I journal and express those sinful feelings, I am convicted and my heart turns by the end of the entry. Something about seeing your thoughts and feelings physically written out in front of you helps you see your foolishness and gives you a desire to make your heart right before God by applying the gospel to your present state.

Another "reason" was the fact that "when words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent" (Prov. 10:19). I have been seeing more and more how lowly and foolish I am, and often feel as though those around me would have nothing to gain from me opening up my mouth. While this may be true, circumstances do come up where I cannot escape speaking, sharing, or encouraging others. I have felt very out of practice with speaking lately, and so I am not very sharp in my communication. It is very sad to see, but I have noticed that opportunities for biblical fellowship have been poorly handled. This grieves me; it truly does. I believe that I would serve, not just myself, but others around me if I took the time to "practice" communicating through the tool of journaling. Then when I do need to speak with others, hopefully I will have already done some thought processing. It seems that my brain simply refuses to process things without speaking, almost all the time! I can be tempted to envy others, especially men it seems, who can just get to the point so quickly.

A couple other hinderances to the resumption of journaling for me have been the feeling that I am writing to emptiness, or the overwhelming sense that I am not able to cover everything, so don't try to cover anything....I simply don't have the time. Those really fall by the wayside because I believe they are outweighed by the importance of how my communication and biblical fellowship could grow if I put forth a little effort. I can see how it would serve the body of Christ, and that is plenty enough reason to buckle down and be intentional with my thoughts.

My pride would like to think that I should not need to work in order to grow in clarity of communication and biblical fellowship. After all, it seems to just come naturally to so many, so why should I have to work at it? That is pride and envy. That must be put to death.

So I am going to attempt to write about the highlights of my day or week, recounting God's grace and sorting through my sin. I will do this on my computer, because typing lends itself better to editing than pen and paper (for me), and editing is a huge part of processing thoughts. I may have difficulty finding the right time, but I will have to just start and figure it out as I go.

This is a long post, with many words. I have far to go, but practice is necessary. May God be glorified. I thank him for giving me clarity on the thought of journaling. He is so kind to me.

photo: Lancaster; J&R's wedding 2010