Relationship

There is so much and so many who I could give myself to, but...

Outside of Christ there is nothing worth knowing, and all who by faith perceive what he is like have grasped all the immensity of heavenly benefits. - John Calvin in his Institutes of the Christian Religion

I miss out on nothing when I "limit" myself to simply knowing Christ, and in fact gain everything in him.

So even in seasons of isolation from much human interaction, which are particularly trying for this relational gal, I have all I need and more in Christ - let me bury myself in his word. Whether overwhelmed with myriads of places I could focus*, or haunted by shadows of loneliness - in plenty or in want - "hallelujah, all I have is Christ; hallelujah, Jesus is my life." May it be my aim to learn more of this pearl of greatest price, in whatever season I find myself.

As I head into another work day, may my God grant the grace to grow my faith so I can come a little closer to saying with Paul (I keenly feel how far I am from this):

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:11-13)

How I continually need the strength of my mighty God and Savior. So aware that I definitely cannot do anything, much less all things, in my frailty and desperate state. But I will cling to the promise that Christ can and will strengthen me or work through my weakness.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Cor. 12:9-10

If my weakness serves to highlight my need for a Savior, to myself and perhaps even to others, then I have to count it a privilege to be weak so that the power of Christ may be magnified. To God alone be the glory. He will ensure that it is so. And he will also care for me and show his kindness again. My Savior truly does love me. I have only to look and see him bleed on the tree to know this. And he will come back for me, full of glory and power. Until that day, I hold to his dear promises and seek to know him more.

* Today I mused how I never have lived outside of Lancaster county and yet have particular fondness for people in various long distance locations. In my short 24 years, people in places such as Tijuana, Mexico; Charlotte, North Carolina; Hamburg, Germany; and Chicago Land, Illinois all hold groups, actually whole churches, of people that I care for. Then when I think about how many people are even right here in Lancaster that I can never fully contain in my heart, it is a marvel to me how I can care so much and yet be so limited and separated. Only God can fully know even one human heart. I cannot know even my own, much less one other person's or more. And even if I could, the selfishness and pride in my heart would poison that knowledge of another. But how glorious will that day be, when we are unified together in and with Christ - having perfect fellowship with Him and one another, free from all sin. I'm thankful that any sadness of the limitation of fellowship that we are constrained by here serves to drive me in anticipation for eternity. And then I am free to quiet my soul and occupy myself with the small lot God has allowed for me this day. Knowing that the best is yet to come, I can be content in the present. What a work of grace! May God grant perseverance to his saints. I know I need it.

1st photo: Joy at the hunting cabin 7/9/2008

2nd photo: Bunting family's last Sunday at church 

yesterday, before the Pastors College then Bahamas

Trust in the LORD

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

- Proverbs 3:5

These verses, which my mom had us kids memorize as little children, come to me when I most need them and bring sobbing tears as they push past the muck to dive into the core of my heart. Where would I be without the word of God hidden in my heart? I shudder to think.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. - Hebrews 4:12

Pain. Why is trusting the Lord hard and painful? Trust must not be settling for a half hearted leaning on the Lord but lodging itself deeper into my heart, and in fact guarding against the alternative of real destructive, long lasting pain that comes from going my own way and leaning on my own understanding. Growing pains exist - they hurt. But without them, we would not grow. As a pre-teen, I do not understand or see any purpose or end of those stretching pains, but they do not last forever and I reap the results as just a few years go by and I become a woman instead of a little girl.

The Gardener prunes. The fire refines. And my Father gives good gifts to his children, never bad ones. And even in the midst of a prune, in the heat of the fire, I can know that the grace of God is enough. He is more than enough for me, and all joy and peace is made available to me, purchased by the blood of Christ, for each and every moment. Not only at the end of the race, but also in the midst of exhausting effort of the run. Not only when the gold is refined, but even as dross is burning off. Why? Because the end has already been sealed. I have already been bought and the victory has been won. I know which team I am on, and his team has already won. So I can run with joy, even through the fog. When I can't see a step ahead on the path, I will trust the one who does and who promises to lead me to the end - to the greatest victory celebration ever to be had. We cannot even conceive.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. - 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

God is too wise to be mistaken

God is too good to be unkind

So when you don't understand

When you don't see his plan

When you can't trace his hand

Trust his heart

-Babbie Mason

Crushing Idols

God is in the idol crushing business. And reliance on any system other than dependance on him is an idol to be crushed, so that you may be free to experience what is far greater in him and his ways.
How can you date someone you can't even see? This still utterly boggles my mind.

for we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

photo: Italian Alps, 2007 

Behold Christ

Warren Boettcher spoke at our church this past Sunday. I listened to his sermon (The Fruit of Justification) again this week and quote him below. I'm so glad God keeps reminding me of this in fresh ways, and I know he will be faithful to continue to strengthen my faith by drawing my gaze up to him.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. - 2 Corinthians 3:18

How do we grow now?...We talk about mortification of sin: there are things we need to die to, that need to be put to death, absolutely. And then there are things we need to put on, right. We put off things of the flesh; we put on things of the Spirit. So there are these "put offs" and "put ons" that we do.

Here's a key way that you grow beyond the "put ons" and "put offs:" look at Him! Behold his glory! Be enamored by him. Don't be so down in the trenches of "I've got to stop sinning here. How do I kill this sin in my life? Oh, and I've got to be good over here. How do I put these things in my life, and if I can only kill this and put on this I'd be good." And meanwhile, I'm just looking down here. Look up! Look up! You want to grow in sanctification? Study Christ! Look at his face. When we behold him, we're going to change from one degree of glory to another.

Where do you go when you sin? And when you seek to change? Do you go to the throne of grace? Is that your comfort and your confidence? Or do you look to self-atonement and self-improvement? "If I can just pay a little bit for my sin, it'll get a little bit better." Self-atonement = if I feel bad. Self-improvement = if I do good. Or do I go to the throne of grace? Where am I going when I want to grow and change? Who am I looking at? Myself? Or am I beholding Him?

All the labors of my hands

Could not meet Thy law's demands

Could my zeal no respite know

Could my tears forever flow

All for sin could not atone

Thou must save, and Thou alone

-Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me

photo: Lübeck, Germany 2007

the beauty of old age

I thank God for the example I have in my grandparents. I am blessed not only that they are around and involved in my life, but even more by the example they set for me in so many ways. In particular, I have been recently struck by the grace of God I see in old age. His faithfulness shines forth. I'd strongly encourage others to seek out an older saint, no only the ones who are just a few steps ahead of you in years or life seasons, but those who really are near the ending years of their lives.

I am in awe of the work God is doing in my grandparents, my grandpa Landis in particular, as they increasingly experience more limitations and the reality of a deteriorating body. I see my own limitations and struggles, and then I look to see what my grandpa has daily in front of him. I am built in my faith to see that God uses old age not to foster a bitter, resentful, or complaining spirit, but that He instead is faithful to work into him a content dependance on God. I do not know my grandpa as a grumpy, bitter old man, but as one who has a steady persevering spirit (and an incredible sense of humor!). Sure it's hard. My grandpa was blessed with many many years of a healthy body and all-around-fix-it man abilities. He helped and served others in multiple ways. Now his productivity has been significantly hampered. And what a difficult transition that is, to have a heart and desire to do the things you once did but no longer be able to do them. It is different from the struggle to be content with things that have not yet come into your life. This is harder in many ways because you HAVE experienced much and know what you are missing. What gets you through and upholds you then, when you're near the end of life? Well, if you are like my grandparents and have known Jesus Christ as your Savior, old age is a revealing test that your life has been built upon the Unchanging Rock. When it is built on a relationship with God, that cannot be taken from you in your old age. The refining fire of old age, like other trials in life, is a servant of God used to fashion us into the image of his Son and draw our hearts to love him more. Fire may burn, but it refines into beautiful gold. The tugging, stretching, molding, hammering, burning, pruning, chiseling, and hard work of sanctification in this life is creating in us a beauty like Christ's, and will all be completely worth it when we get to see him in glory!

Be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" - Hebrews 13:5-6

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed by the name of the Lord. - Job 1:21

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

photo: my 23rd birthday; Feb. 2010

glory in weakness

I read Acts 3:1-10 on Tuesday morning of this week. It is about Peter, John, and the lame beggar who was healed. The last sentences say,

And all the people saw him walking and praising God, and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms. And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

This man was known by/for his weakness. God used his lameness to show forth His power and glory. So, I should embrace my weaknesses, if through them God may display his glory to others in my life.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

photo: Potter County, PA 2008