Shame & Gratefulness

I recognized discouragement and a sense of shame in myself today in a more poignant way than I have in a while. These CCEF articles helped to take that shame and turn it into a tool to push me nearer to Christ instead of following an inclination to turn inward and hide in a dark hole in myself. And now I’m freshly grateful for how nothing can separate me from the love of Christ and that he actually uses ugly things like shame, whether shallow or deep, to draw me nearer to knowing him. Afterall, no one experienced shame to the degree he did.

These articles, by Ed Welsh and based on his book Shame Interrupted, both met me and moved me to desire to grow in showing more compassion to others who may feel shame. I can identify with both sides, feeling shame and shaming others through my selfish inconsideration. Thankful for a merciful God.

 

"The King of the universe enters into his kingdom with signs that he is both the King and the outcast. Shamed people would recognize him, even at his birth, as one of their own....The interruption of shame comes at an historical moment when Jesus took both guilt and shame to the cross and disarmed shame of its power." 

"He knows your name and will also give you his."

"For them, to be truly known is synonymous with rejection...Know anyone who considers their very existence an interruption to the lives of others? Know someone who punctuates most of their sentences with “I’m sorry.”? They know they need help but to ask anything of another is to be an infuriating interruption in someone’s life."

 

"Jesus' simple actions said,

'You are not an interruption.'

'I'm not afraid to connect with you.'

'I care about you.'

 

"I don’t want to be so eager to identify sin in others that I miss the more immediate need of compassion and love. Locating sin and speculating about poor motives really is a lot easier than being patient, kind, and compassionate. I want to give others what they need in the moment, not what is easy for me."

"I don’t want the people in my life to feel like an interruption. May God have mercy on me, because I think sometimes they do.

"If you want to know how to love the shamed more wisely, the first step is to look around for those 'sneaking up on you' just hoping to steal a touch and give it to them. Notice them. Make time for them. Invite them to give voice to their suffering. Embody and point them to the love of Christ.

Christ Interrupts Shame; Shame Interrupted: Finding Words; Shame Interrupted: He Knows My Name; How Do You Respond to People Who Feel Shame

truth, emotion, and relationship

My Savior My God

by Aaron Shust

My Savior loves, My Savior lives

My Savior's always there for me

My God: He was, my God; He is

My God is always gonna be

Those chorus lyrics brought tears to my eyes while driving yesterday evening, which is not difficult to do these days (or multiple times a day). My last post served me well to re-read during this week. I'm finding it to be so evident that truth and emotion struggle to find their places in me. My heart is prone to wander, and God is so faithful to bring truth to bear in my spirit and realign me, gently or bluntly.

I just read an article by Ed Welsh called Strong Emotions; Extreme Confidence. And his last paragraphs are particularly helpful:

Okay, slow down. I am a creature, not the creator. I am part of a larger body and I need the larger body. I don't have all wisdom and knowledge in myself. When there is a difference of opinion between my feelings and what God says, God's word wins. I gladly submit to him. When there is a difference of opinion between my feelings and what many wise counselors have said to me, I submit to the wisdom of the community.

Yes, this is all true, and it sounds good on paper. But right now my emotions are not raging in any particular direction. The good news is that I can practice humility today. I can listen to God - really listen. I can consider the interests of others as more important than my own. That will prepare me for the times when my strong feelings don't tell me the whole story.

speaking of blunt (a bit earlier), here's a blunt transition...

I love relating with people. I love doing this daily and weekly. I operate better around people. My mind thrives when engaged together with another mind, and tends to stagnate when isolated to turn it's own wheels. I struggle with and sometimes am smothered by the monotony and loneliness that daily life can sometime be. But that really is a good portion of what my life is and probably often will be. And God uses this to grow my awareness of my dependance on him for every relational need - practical, complex, spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and on and on. He uses this to reveal himself as all sufficient.

Who am I that he should reveal himself and his truth to me, as well as allow me to partake in his work (in others or even in myself)? This is humbling and awe producing work He is about - work that springs forth the praise of his glory, and his alone.

P.S. HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER MARGARET! I love you dear. :)

photo: Jared & Rebekah's wedding, 2010

Sin or Sickness?

This past winter, I took a Vital Life class at church called Counseling for Everyday Life. Bill loaded us up with plenty of reading material and messages, including Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands. One of the articles was by Ed Welch, called Sin or Sickness? Biblical Counseling and the Medical Model. The last paragraph of this article has been extremely helpful to me, and I've referenced it in multiple conversations since reading it. It's come up twice within this past week, and I thought I would share it here.

The resulting model, which includes the medical evidence without sacrificing a biblical view of personal responsibility, shows the heart and body in a dynamic interaction (Figure 1) and allows for various possibilities. For example, sin (from the heart) can make some people feel depressed (body), e.g. Psalm 32. The physical experience of depression can then influence the heart in such a way that the heart chooses hopelessness over faith, and the cycle might become a downward spiral. Another possibility is that a person may have had a disease that feels like depression (fatigue, feeling blue, concentration problems). The physical feelings then can influence the heart in such a way that the heart is more susceptible to forsaking biblical hope. Of course, the cycle can be stopped through repentance, faith, and obedience, in which case the physical symptoms may persist but no longer have the same power over the heart. The cycle also can be affected by treating the physical symptoms with available medical treatments.

I have found much help in this clear description of the interplay between sin, suffering, and repentance. It has helped me to acknowledge physical realities and see that my hope is not in the end of suffering, but in the power of God's grace to keep me from sin and at peace in the midst of the "heated" circumstances of discomfort and suffering. Although temptation to sin may increase from a physical reality, I am no longer a slave to sin but Christ's power is at work in me to lead me to repentance and faith - to freedom even if my body is still experiencing the effects of decay because of the fall.

And on top of that, as if that weren't enough, oh how sweet it is if/when God chooses to grant relief from that suffering. I no longer see it as something I "deserve" (to be perfectly healthy and without the "heat"/temptation to sin), but as an outpouring of His lavishly rich and kind grace on me. Our God is a loving Father!

You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3