What Manner of Love Is This?

I was happy to sit at the piano for a while this morning. I'm so thankful for such rich lyrics full of grace and truth that make their way into your heart through the vehicle of song, in ways that just reading the words often do not.

I had not come across this song for quite some time, and it brought back memories of when it seemed to serve as one of our "communion songs" for a season at church.

How blessed was the precious life - Laid down at Calvary -

That took the sin of lowly man - And nailed it to the tree

How blessed was the innocent Lamb - That uttered not a sound -

Who chose instead to bow His head - And bear the thorny crown

How bless-ed, how bless-ed,

How bless-ed is the blood of Jesus

And the pure, redeeming blood - That flowed from Your side -

Is the sweet wine that's poured out for Your bride - It flowed form Your side

How blessed was the broken body - That wore the scarlet robe -

Who became the Name by which we are saved - In Whom we put our hope

How bless-ed, how bless-ed,

How bless-ed is the blood of Jesus

by Larry Hampton (c) 1994 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing

My Father God has so richly blessed me and bountifully given me so many deep and sweet relationships in this life. But Christ out shines them all. To look on his precious life, him nailed on the tree, his blood flowing and body broken, and to see that he did it for me - how brightly he shines above all.

And to think upon who is this man, this Son of Man, this Son of God, this Holy and righteous one, this all powerful and glorious mighty and majestic King of the universe, this Lion, that he should stoop so low to become a lamb and be crucified in my place? Why?

Why should he do this for such a slimy, hateful, insolent, evil wretch as I am? When he knows how great my offense even better than my own deceitful and ungrateful heart knows of itself, when he knows how I spurn his holiness, justice, and mercy to go my own way even after being chased unceasingly by his strong and loving hand, when he has naught to gain and all to lose by drawing me near, he still sacrificed it all to purchase me back to himself. Like Hosea bought back Gomer (Hosea 3), my Savior has paid the great price to seal my pardon and continues in his steadfast pursuit of my soul as a jealous God.

My Savior Christ is the lover of my soul and that is a marvel and inconceivable truth that I will spend all of eternity learning to contemplate fully. There is no end to his pursuit of me, and there is no end to his loving kindness. My God has seen fit to lay down his Son to purchase me from my self-dug grave and has won me back as his child and given me his Spirit so that I may call upon him as Abba, Father, and learn to love his Son and glorify his name in all my days and for eternity.

What manner of love is this? (1 John 3:1)

Oh, that my soul would always rejoice in the God and Father of my salvation! Amen and amen.

Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, "Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!" And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!" And the four living creatures said, "Amen!" and the elders fell down and worshipped. - Revelation 5:11-14

photo: Conestoga Gardens, August 2010

Crushing Idols

God is in the idol crushing business. And reliance on any system other than dependance on him is an idol to be crushed, so that you may be free to experience what is far greater in him and his ways.
How can you date someone you can't even see? This still utterly boggles my mind.

for we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

photo: Italian Alps, 2007 

Miraculous Provision

Deuteronomy 29:5-6 (Moses speaking to the people just before they enter the promised land):

I have led you forty years in the wilderness. Your clothes have not worn out on you, and your sandals have not worn off your feet. You have not eaten bread, and you have not drunk wine or strong drink, that you may know that I am the LORD your God.

God did what no man could have done, in sustaining the Israelites for forty years in the wilderness. He did this miraculously, so that no one could boast except in the LORD their God. Starting out, they could not have made plans like this, "OK, so for the next forty years let's just make sure our clothes and shoes don't wear out, let's not plan to eat any bread or drink what seems like the most logical travel drink. Let's set a course to do this for forty years and I'm sure we can make it happen." This would hardly be the wisdom of man, and absolutely is out of the reach and power of man to perform. But God did it. God called them to it, to obedience, faith, joyful surrender to his will, and to enjoyment and praise of him alone through it all.

When I look at what he did for them, how can I doubt what he can and will do in my own life? It is a blessing to be positioned in a place that forces you to all the more quickly acknowledge your absolute dependence on God - his wisdom, his power, his guidance, his strength, his grace.

The Israelites didn't know what was ahead of them in those forty years when they started out, and they sure did mess up. But God was faithful to them in spite of their sin, absurdly undeserving as they were. And he called them to just one day at a time (manna for only one day). I want to be more faithful to simply look at the clear calling for the "one day" that God has put before me.

photo: some of my camping staffers at Creation West 2006

at the Gorge Amphitheatre in George, WA

Psalm 131, again

O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD

from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 131

This is like my theme verse recently or something. It seems I often need to come back to it, and I have been pleasantly surprised at the new depth I have been seeing in these verses. The word of God does not tarnish, but is fresh every day.

Giver of Life

You are good, and Your mercies last a lifetime.

You are good, always, always.

Every day, Your love is never-ending,

For You are good, always, always

Giver of life, You never change.

All that is perfect comes from You.

Your wonders never cease.

Not even life, not even death

Nor any power in heaven or earth

Could separate us from Your love.

Freely You give new every day;

Your mercies will never fail.

So great is Your faithfulness!
Your love is kind, Your love is pure,

Your love will always persevere,

For every blessing comes from You.

Giver of Life; (c) Tim Hughes

It's good to know you can always come back to the truth that God is good, period. I can always take refuge in him, even if I can't escape difficulty (including daily frustrations like being set back by the loss of important digital records). And in fact, difficulty is well worth the trouble, if it causes me to have no other option but rest in the certainty that God is good and will provide ample strength and grace for each day. Troubles are real, but God's goodness and gospel is unrelenting in it's power over all other powers. He will see me to the end, and I can enjoy his goodness in the process as well! Tiring as it may be, it's always a good thing to have motivation to seek out rest in my Lord.

photo: Lübeck, Germany 2007

Brokenness, Faith, Delight

The Holiness of God, page 32:

There is a pattern here, a pattern repeated in history. God appears, people quake in terror, God forgives and heals, God sends. From brokenness to mission is the human pattern. . . . [Isaiah] was not Humpty-Dumpty. In the nursery rhyme the fall of Mr. Dumpty is tragic because no one in the entire kingdom had the power to put him together again. Yet he was no more fragile than Isaiah. Isaiah was shattered into as many pieces as any fallen egg. But God put him together again. God was able to take a shattered man and send him into the ministry. He took a sinful man and made him a prophet. He took a man with a dirty mouth and made him God's spokesman.

John 3:1: See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

Psalm 16:1-2, 5-6, 7-8, 11: Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.". . . The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. . . .You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Brokenness before God is a good thing, and pain is not to be avoided above all else. I have found that I often try to "guard myself from joy." Only recently have I been able to condense this thought into that 4 word phrase, but it's been developing for quite some time. If something is good, I seem to hold back from being expressive and excited about it because I fear it will not last. When things are difficult, I tell myself to think about how good I really do have it compared to what I deserve, the wrath of God. Then I find myself quickly and surprisingly content and happy. But when things are going well, I seem to warn myself not to take joy and attach myself to any thing because it cannot last, only God can be my lasting joy. Well, that is true, but God gives good things to reflect himself and his goodness to me. So, it's actually sinful for me to reject his good gifts to strive after false security. I can delight in the good things God has given because through them I am delighting in Him.

I am blown away by the grace and goodness of God. Sweetly broken and stretched in faith is a good place to be. Although facing fears with weak faith is hard, I can know God will not crush me. He has already crushed his Son. He only gives me more than I can handle to break me and draw me to himself, where there is fullness of joy. And then as a loving Father, he blesses me even more. "What manner of love is this?"

Even in the many ways my faith is being tested currently, God is blessing me through my relationship with Matt. :) My thoughts go a little like this, "You mean it's been over a week and the guy hasn't dumped me yet? Gee, golly, that sure is swell!" Ok, yeah it's only been 16 days of dating, uh courting, err relating (no, we've "related" longer than that...uhh), well you know what I mean. But those are 16 days of God's goodness not to be taken lightly. God is good.

Blessed be your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be

Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be your name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, Blessed be your name

(c) Matt Redman

photo: Tuscany, Italy 2007

EDIT/UPDATE:

While going through some old emails tonight, I came across a note I emailed myself on July 28 (when this was going on). I had thought to blog about it, but never did until this post.

sign that your joy is tied to your circumstances instead of to Christ = slow to be excited about something or have joyful expectation because you know the circumstances will probably change soon and suffering, difficulty, or hardship could come around the corner soon. I want to thoroughly enjoy the blessing and pleasant circumstances God gives me because I am enjoying God in them, not because I enjoy them in and of themselves. I can then be free to enjoy the moment.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Sometimes it's good to stop and smell the roses. :)

- making waffles for my family
- slow Saturday mornings
- being domestic at home and letting other work behind
- guilt-free relaxation when I'm under the weather
- messes in our house that reflect lots of life, not just work to be done
- keeping things simple and slowing things down
- posts from my daddy on facebook, even when we are sitting right beside each other
- a giddy mom
- successful April Fool's jokes
- notes from Matt
- being ok with not accomplishing much

Sometimes Sundays are restful; sometimes Saturday are. Sometimes there are no restful days in the week. Sometime there a several. But I can be at rest any day because of the rest I find in Christ. Even so, God knows I need the practical and tangibleness of actual days of rest and leisure.
I'm reminded of a message I posted about this summer.
Jeff Purswell said:

Labor is hard and wearisome because we are sinful. God gives us leisure to point our eyes above, to Him and the peace in Christ. I have physical rest because I have spiritual rest. Let your pursuit of rest here point your eyes to the ultimate rest you will have when the Kingdom is consummated. The restless soul is an unforgiven soul, but a soul that receives forgiveness receives rest. Let our leisure be a reminder of the forgiveness and rest for our souls that Christ has accomplished on the cross.

Am I good at receiving things? If not, what does that say about my grasp of the grace of God? What does it say about my pride? What does it say about the price Christ paid? Do I think it's not enough? Do I make God small and smear the Son of God in the dirt? Oh that I would not! And oh that God would forgive me, for that is what I do. For this too, Christ died. "Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer." My beautiful Savior died for and loves a wretch like me.

photo: Burano, Italy 2007

P.S. It feels good to write again, with so much that's been going on. It's one of my little ways of preaching to myself. And yes, I reread my own blog multiple times, because I need to remember and revisit the same exact things over and over and over....