Faith in Uncertainty

This evening I read the following in Rescuing Ambition:

Ambition rescues us from misplaced security. . . . So God began a divine routine: he would give Paul direction but withhold the outcome. If Paul had a bumper sticker, it would read, "Going, not knowing." . . . He gives Paul enough answers to stir his ambition but never enough to mute his faith. . . . God constrains Paul to go but withholds what will happen. Paul has an ambition and is going forward, but he doesn't foresee the outcome. His only certainty is that it's risky. . . . (pp. 176-177).

The Christian life is a kind of mysterious suspense, where we're acting on godly ambition without knowing the result. Like Paul, we're "going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen." . . . Risks and uncertainty are daily reminders of how much greater God is than we are. We take risks; God does not. God is not "going" (because he's already there), nor is he "not knowing" (since he knows all things). God is all-powerful, controlling all things. Amazing, isn't it? . . .

When God "constrains" us by his Spirit to do something, he doesn't fill in all the blanks. We must trust him, just like Paul trusted him. Risk exists because we can't control events and we don't know what's going to happen. In other words, when we don't know the future, we find out whom we really trust.

We're called not to control the future, but to trust God for it.

Do you feel called in a direction but are uncertain about what will happen? God's design in that is to drive you to dependence upon him. Have you noticed how your desperation for God increases with the uncertainty in your life? The new job, the new child, that new ministry - all of a sudden we're desperate for God. We're starved, needy, ravished by a hunger to hear. God delights to put us in this position because it postures us to depend on him and to exercise faith toward him. It's part of how he rescues us from misplaced security.

Risk always leads us to experience God in a deeper way. This is by design. Risk rescues us from misplaced security by anchoring us in the eternal (pp. 179-180).

Uncertainty. It seems to be all around me, and I'm afraid it is more often paralyzing me instead of building faithful dependance. "I believe; help my unbelief!"(Mark 9:24).

Today it came to one of it's climaxes in the uncertainty of the weather. Last week I was shaken by a couple bad winter driving experiences. My body has been in pain for nearly a week, and taking muscle relaxers, exercising, and stretching have not overcome my back and neck pain. So when faced with "if-y" weather conditions this morning, I failed a test of faith. Anxiety and anger gripped me. I resented the uncertainty that seemed to be plaguing my life in multiple directions.

God worked on me, as he is faithful to do. I came to see I was not trusting him. And later in the day he revealed that I not only wasn't trusting him, but I was saying he is not good. Not worthy of trust and not good. How dare he not give me the peace I want and "need" by removing all uncertainty? I was charging God. He led me to repentance and sweetly showed me that the peace I seek cannot be found in receiving all the answers I want. Rather, knowing him and knowing he is good is enough. Even in pain and uncertainty, my Father is good. And he is good to me.

There are some things I can be certain of, and those are more than enough to comfort, bring joy, and provoke faith-filled perseverance. My Savior lives, my God loves, and He knows what He is doing. I can trust him. Why? Because he is good. And that's all I need know.