Do You Trust Me, My Child?

In his book Heaven, Randy Alcorn addresses the question, "Will we be reunited with infants who have died?" He thinks most likely the answer is yes, and on page 356 he says (emphases added):

Perhaps in Heaven many people will meet their children who were aborted or their children who died in miscarriages (even some miscarriages their mothers weren't aware of). Many parents will be reunited with children who died at an early age. Perhaps these children will grab our hands and show us around the present Heaven. Then one day, after the final resurrection, we'll enjoy each other's company on the New Earth - and experience its wonders together.

If children do go to Heaven when they die, why doesn't God tell us that directly? It may be that he anticipates the twisted logic and rationalization it might foster in us. It might take from us the sense of urgency to see our children come to faith in Christ. It might cause us to be less concerned about the sacred God-given task of extending physical and financial help to the underprivileged and getting the gospel to children around the world. We must do what God has called us to do, which includes protecting, rescuing, feeding, evangelizing, and discipling children.

Whatever God's reasons may be, I have struggled with not knowing the answer to this question beyond a shadow of a doubt. I have not forgotten about the brother or sister I never had the chance to meet, often remembering in tears and sometimes wondering what our family would be like had he lived.
Why is this something that God would leave as a mystery to us? Why would he not lay it out plain and simple, so that we might be confidently comforted or at least know the difficult truth? I don't know. I do know he is good, and his holiness and glory matter most. He will use whatever he wills to strengthen my faith in him, even if it hurts. He would that I love him even if I am stripped of all others and every good thing. When questions are unanswered, doubts remain, or fears for the future threaten to crowd in my heart, I hear my Savior say, "Do you trust me? I love you dear child. Trust me. I am enough for you." And I find that he is more than enough.

O God of love, I come to you again

Knowing I'll find mercy

I can't explain all the things I see

But I'll trust in you

In every moment you are there

Watching over, you hear my prayer

You go before me

You're behind me

Nothing's hidden from you

O God of strength, your hand is on my life

Bringing peace to me

You know my frame, you know how I am made

You planned all my days

Hand of mercy, hand of love

Giving power to overcome

If all beneath me falls away

I know that you are God

How good it is to be loved by you

How good it is

How good it is to be loved by you

How good it is

c. 2000 Kingsway's Thankyou Music

photo: May 27, 2010

Behold Christ

Warren Boettcher spoke at our church this past Sunday. I listened to his sermon (The Fruit of Justification) again this week and quote him below. I'm so glad God keeps reminding me of this in fresh ways, and I know he will be faithful to continue to strengthen my faith by drawing my gaze up to him.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. - 2 Corinthians 3:18

How do we grow now?...We talk about mortification of sin: there are things we need to die to, that need to be put to death, absolutely. And then there are things we need to put on, right. We put off things of the flesh; we put on things of the Spirit. So there are these "put offs" and "put ons" that we do.

Here's a key way that you grow beyond the "put ons" and "put offs:" look at Him! Behold his glory! Be enamored by him. Don't be so down in the trenches of "I've got to stop sinning here. How do I kill this sin in my life? Oh, and I've got to be good over here. How do I put these things in my life, and if I can only kill this and put on this I'd be good." And meanwhile, I'm just looking down here. Look up! Look up! You want to grow in sanctification? Study Christ! Look at his face. When we behold him, we're going to change from one degree of glory to another.

Where do you go when you sin? And when you seek to change? Do you go to the throne of grace? Is that your comfort and your confidence? Or do you look to self-atonement and self-improvement? "If I can just pay a little bit for my sin, it'll get a little bit better." Self-atonement = if I feel bad. Self-improvement = if I do good. Or do I go to the throne of grace? Where am I going when I want to grow and change? Who am I looking at? Myself? Or am I beholding Him?

All the labors of my hands

Could not meet Thy law's demands

Could my zeal no respite know

Could my tears forever flow

All for sin could not atone

Thou must save, and Thou alone

-Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me

photo: Lübeck, Germany 2007

Vision for Plodding

Someone asked me today if there is anything new or exciting going on in my life recently. Hmmm, not really. I'm just plodding along indefinitely.
Well, what is exciting to me? What am I looking forward to? Paradoxical and practical as it may be, I look forward to more of the same old same old...but to being renewed in my joy and zeal for the things God has called me to in my days. I want to not just be a plodder, even a faithful one. No, I want to be a plodding visionary. Another way to say it is that I don't just want to obey God, but I want to enjoy and desire more of Him in the moments of my days.
The vision is what fuels the plodding. Which word sounds more exciting, "plodding" or "visionary?" I suggest the latter, but they come as a package. Do I find myself to be simply a plodder without a vision? How do I know when that is the case? It's probably when I check my pulse and find discontentment, weariness, selfishness, boredom, complaining, etc.
So, how do I become envisioned? I can be spurred on in my plodding by many different visions, but there is just one vision that I want to catch and keep. It is the vision of Christ. Christ as my goal for eternity and Christ as my joy in this moment.
I want to make God my study and delight, and in so doing all the other little (or big) things will fall into place and serve to glorify God and deepen my enjoyment of him. Then guess what? Without thinking about it, look at that, life is fresh and exciting!

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

And how blessed am I that I get to (and indeed need to) live out a vision for Christ as part of his church. Check out Kevin DeYoung's message from Next 2010 on the church, and be refreshed in your role as a plodding visionary.

photo: part of the Italian Alps, 2007

I'm With Him

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, 

which cannot be moved, but abides forever. 

As the mountains surround Jerusalem, 

so the LORD surrounds his people, 

from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 125:1-2

If we're not constantly asking God to fill us with his Spirit, then we're going into a war zone with no gun and no protection. - Matt

The greatest blessing God gives is His presence. . . . When God is with us, there is no difference between Nebuchadnezzar's fiery furnace and a comfortable bed. It does not matter! We will be happy in either. If God is with us, if His divine love surrounds us, then we carry our own atmosphere and residence wherever we travel. - C.H. Spurgeon

And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. - Matthew 28:20

photo: Bolzano, Italy 2007

Thankful In Suffering

Even as Thanksgiving approaches, today my heart was heavy with the suffering of others. The Lord gently reminded me and firmly grounded me through these words of A.W. Tozer (pg. 61-62):

But there is hope in all our tears. When the hour of Christ's triumph arrives, the suffering world will be brought out into the glorious liberty of the sons of God. . . . In the meantime we rest our hope in the only wise God, our Saviour, and wait with patience the slow development of His benign purposes. In spite of tears and pain and death we believe that the God who made us all is infinitely wise and good. . . . We rest in what God is. 

Come seizures, cancer, or old age, nothing can take away our sure hope in Christ. Even if our worse fear is realized, we can be thankful to the God who is infinitely wise and good in his dealings with us.

photo: Crossway Church property, November 7, 2010

He Knows All

From Tozer's chapter on "The Divine Omniscience", pg 57:

And to us who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope that is set before us in the gospel, how unutterably sweet is the knowledge that our Heavenly Father knows us completely. No talebearer can inform on us, no enemy can make an accusation stick; no forgotten skeleton can come tumbling out of some hidden closet to abash us and expose our past; no unsuspected weakness in our characters can come to light to turn God away from us, since He knew us utterly before we knew Him and called us to Himself in the full knowledge of everything that was against us. "For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee."

Our Father in heaven knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. He knew our inborn treachery, and for His own sake engaged to save us (Isa. 48:8-11). His only begotten Son, when He walked among us, felt our pains in their naked intensity of anguish. His knowledge of our afflictions and adversities is more than theoretic; it is personal, warm, and compassionate. Whatever may befall us, God knows and cares as no one else can.

Oh how wonderful! God knows the depths of my sin even more than I might ever know, and he still chose to love me. Knowing God more makes the gospel more and more precious and strengthens my faith for life.
I really appreciate that about reading this little book of Tozer's. He leads you in studying God and then often uncovers such rich gospel connections.

Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? - Romans 8:33-35

photo: Sensenig Grandparents home, Thanksgiving 2007

Little Women

I picked up Little Women and started reading it these past few days. It's so delightful! And I want to use words like "delightful," "handkerchief," "dear," and so on because of it. I think there is something to be said for rubbing shoulders with people who help you enjoy and be thankful for the little things in life and throughout the day. That is the effect this book has for me so far. Alcott portrays the daily joys and sorrows of her characters with genuineness and care. It has been a very long time since I've read a novel, but that's mostly because I haven't seen a use for doing so. I look forward to walking through a bit of life with Little Women and letting them teach me to embrace and cultivate a thankful, contented, and joyful spirit in the moments of my days.
A plus is the fact that the copy I have is worn and aged, which adds a lovely quaintness to the reading experience. My grandma's name, Rhoda, is written in cursive with a pencil on the title page.

photo: Jared & Rebekah's wedding, January 2010