Wait on the Lord

A friend of mine shared this with me earlier this week. Lamentations 3:17-33:

my soul is bereft of peace;

I have forgotten what happiness is;

so I say, "My endurance has perished;

so has my hope from the Lord."

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,

the wormwood and the gall!

My soul continually remembers it

and is bowed down within me.

But this I call to mind,

and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,

"therefore I will hope in him."

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

It is good for a man that he bear

the yoke in his youth.

Let him sit alone in silence

when it is laid on him;

let him put his mouth in the dust -

there may yet be hope;

let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,

and let him be filled with insults.

For the Lord will not cast off forever,

but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion

according to the abundance of his steadfast love;

for he does not willingly afflict

or grieve the chilren of men.

I know the word of God will not return void. This week I even caught glimpses of true peace and happiness - I felt the truths I have been clinging to a little more. Feelings are not to be trusted or valued above all (thus may I put my "mouth in the dust" when tempted to unbelieving feelings), but God is gracious to allow them to bless when they fall in their proper place. So when I am "bereft of peace" and have "forgotten what happiness is", by the grace of God I will continue to "call to mind" the truths of God and therefore have hope. Looking to God and not myself is my only hope. He is good, according to his steadfast love - He cannot and will not act contrary to his good character. 

There is so much in the above passage that I can identify with and be encouraged by. I am waiting on the Lord, and I know that is a good place to be. Even if tempted to weariness or despair for about seven weeks of hardcore waiting on him in various forms and fashions, God proves faithful to grow me in perseverance in faith. He has done wonderful things and he is still doing great and wonderful things. He will unto the end.  And not only in me, but in all that belong to the kingdom of God.

"How great is our God. Sing with me, how great is our God!"

Little Women

I picked up an old novel again yesterday evening, and found great sweetness:

I gave my best to the country I love, and kept my tears till he was gone. Why should I complain when we both have merely done our duty and will surely be the happier for it in the end? If I don't seem to need help, it is because I have a better Friend even than Father to comfort and sustain me. My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning, and may be many; but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may become the source of lifelong peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily, and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother." 

Jo's only answer was to hold her mother close, and in the silence which followed, the sincerest prayer she had ever prayed left her heart without words, for in that sad yet happy hour she had learned not only the bitterness of remorse and despair, but the sweetness of self-denial and self-control; and, led by her mother's hand, she had drawn nearer to the Friend who welcomes every child with a love stronger than that of any father, tenderer than that of any mother.

- Louisa May Alcott's Little Women, pages 67-68

I started to highlight segments of this text above but then realized I would be italicizing almost everything.

photo: Joy's yarn - December 27, 2010

Strike! - motivation to persevere

Charles Spurgeon in Morning and Evening for July 17th wrote about battling sin. The week I read this, it resonated as life to my soul, and it still does.

Our darling sin must die. Spare it not for its much crying. Strike, though it be as dear as an Isaac. Strike, for God struck at sin when it was laid upon his own Son. With stern unflinching purpose must you condemn to death that sin which was once the idol of your heart. Do you ask how you are to accomplish this? Jesus will be your power. You have grace to overcome sin given you in the covenant of grace; you have strength to win the victory in the crusade against inward lusts, because Christ Jesus has promised to be with you even unto the end. If you would triumph over darkness, set yourself in the presence of the Sun of Righteousness. There is no place so well adapted for the discovery of sin, and the recovery from its power and guilt, as the immediate presence of God.  

The connections he makes are so powerful. Strong absolute truths of God, all connected. So centered on the cross and glory of God. So hope filled. Grace will triumph over sin. Good versus evil will prevail. The presence of God is both the goal and the way. Our fight against sin is not hopeless, not with Christ on our side. It is a worthy battle. I should not shirk it off. Why strike at sin? Because "God struck at sin when it was laid upon his own Son." How can I, a feeble wretched sinner, strike at my sin that so easily entangles me? Only by the power of Christ, which is mine because the Father "struck at sin when it was laid upon his own Son." Where do I go when I go to battle my sin? Under the shelter of His wing, in the presence of the most Holy One.

I want to know more of my God, and I want to kill more of my sin. I want others to help me. I want to help others. We are instruments in our Redeemer's hands for each others' sanctification, and we are in this together. But the only one worth having on our side is our God - and he is absolutely, irrevocably, eternally, comprehensively "for us!" His glory is at the center of his passion, and he will not be mocked. He has bought us and tied us permanently to himself. He is for us, and he has the victory.

If I have my eyes set on the goal, set on Christ, then I am equipped to strike sin.

John Piper, at New Attitude 2008:

Jesus himself, and all that God is for us in him, is our great reward, nothing less. Salvation is not mainly the forgiveness of sins, but mainly the fellowship with Jesus. Forgiveness just gets everything out of the way so this can happen.

There is purpose in this life. Depression speaks a dark and gloomy lie contrary to the brilliance of the light of truth. My purpose, my vision, is Christ. I am made for him. And I am called to spend this life preparing for eternity with him. That means putting to death sin and growing in my love for my Savior, all to the glory of God by his power and might. God will receive all the credit for every good thing. And he will be glorified in the suffering and perseverance of his saints. We are in this together, and he is "for us."

"I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:24

photo: July 7, 2007 - Hamburg, Germany (Vinson's hand)

For Us

C.H. Spurgeon, Evening July 18th:

"When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me." - Psalms 56:9

It is impossible for any human speech to express the full meaning of this delightful phrase, "God is for me." He was "for us" before the worlds were made; he was "for us," or he would not have given his well-beloved son; he was "for us" when he smote the Only-begotten, and laid the full weight of his wrath upon him - he was "for us," though he was against him; he was "for us," when we were ruined in the fall - he loved us notwithstanding all; he was "for us," when we were rebels against him, and with a high hand were bidding him defiance; he was "for us," or he would not have brought us humbly to seek his face. He has been "for us" in many struggles; we have been summoned to encounter hosts of dangers; we have been assailed by temptations from without and within - how could we have remained unharmed to this hour if he had not been "for us"? He is "for us," with all the infinity of his being; with all the omnipotence of his love; with all the infallibility of his wisdom; arrayed in all his divine attributes, he is "for us," - eternally and immutably "for us"; "for us" when yon blue skies shall be rolled up like a worn out vesture; "for us" throughout eternity. And because he is "for us," the voice of prayer will always ensure his help. "When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies be turned back." This is no uncertain hope, but a well grounded assurance - "this I know." I will direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up for the answer, assured that it will come, and that mine enemies shall be defeated, "for God is for me." O believer, how happy art thou with the King of kings on thy side! How safe with such a Protector! How sure thy cause pleaded by such an Advocate! If God be for thee, who can be against thee?

Jesus is my Protector and my Advocate. It is true. He loves me greatly. Only because of this am I able to live and love.

Knowing that the almighty and loving God is for me should give me great comfort and security. And knowing he is for us should compel me by example and empower me by the grace purchased at the cross to also be "for you," my dear brother or sister. Because his great love has been and continues to be for me, my faith should be strong and my love for another should likewise mirror his unconditional, sacrificial, and self-denying love.

Oh that God would open my eyes to see more of how he is for me and for his dear church. And oh that he would give me a persevering love for others in my life that I might boldly be "for them"in my heart, mind, and actions - past, present, and future. He calls me to love, because he first loved me. This requires laying myself aside continually.
But I will never come close to tasting what it would be like to pour myself out in the excruciating way that my dear Christ Jesus did for me.

Behold and see, was there ever sorrow like unto his sorrow that is done unto him? All ye that pass by draw near and look upon this spectacle of grief, unique, unparalleled, a wonder to men and angels, a prodigy unmatched. Behold the Emperor of Woe who had no equal or rival in his agonies! Gaze upon him, ye mourners, for if there be not consolation in a crucified Christ there is no joy in earth or heaven. If in the ransom price of his blood there be not hope, ye harps of heaven, there is no joy in you, and the right hand of God shall know no pleasures for evermore. We have only to sit more continually at the cross foot to be less troubled with our doubts and woes. We have but to see his sorrows, and our sorrows we shall be ashamed to mention. We have but to gaze into his wounds and heal our own (Spurgeon, Morning & Evening, July 22).

Nothing I can know can compare to what Jesus knew on the cross - I will never know the same depth of pain nor height of love. But may I count it all joy whenever I am privileged to reflect, even the most dimly, some of this sweet gospel in my life.

My heart is not there day by day, but dear Lord grant sight to my blind heart and perseverance. "Draw me deeper into the glories of Calvary."

"I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:24

photo: church farm - November 7, 2010

Look

Spurgeon:

"Behold the man!" - John 19:5

We have only to sit more continually at the cross foot to be less troubled with our doubts and woes. We have but to see his sorrows, and our sorrows we shall be ashamed to mention. We have but to gaze into his wounds and heal our own. If we would live aright it must be by the contemplation of his death; if we would rise to dignity, it must be by considering his humiliation and his sorrow.

(Morning & Evening July 22)

Dear Father, may Christ and his cross fill more of my view. More of you and less of me.

Used yet Secure. And God Glorified.

I just watched the below video for the first time several minutes ago, and the tears came.

(All I Have Is Christ)

One of the things God has been driving home for me is to instill in my heart more of a treasuring of Christ and thankfulness of his gospel, so that I can say with genuine faith:

Oh Father, use my ransomed life in any way You choose, 

and let my song forever be: my only boast is You.

Recently those lines have really stuck with me. I truly can say that whatever my God ordains is right: whatever path he leads me by, whoever he brings me to, whatever trial or joy he sets before me. It has been a marvel to me that I find not fear but comfort in saying "use my ransomed life in any way You choose." It is a comfort to know that he has chosen to use my ransomed life for his glory in the past and he will in the future. It can only be a comforting thing because Christ's blood has purchased me for the Father, so that he is glorified in me not by crushing me and pouring his wrath out on me but by saving me and drawing me to him as his precious child.

Whatever way he chooses to use my ransomed life, I can know he will give me the grace and faith I need. I am amazed at how he already has. I have faced things I never could by my own strength, and he has been faithful - "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1).

Whatever my God ordains is right

Though now this cup in drinking

Bitter it seems to my faint heart

I take it all unshrinking

My God is true, each morn anew

Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart

And pain and sorrow shall depart

(c) 2007 Sovereign Grace Praise

Whatever My God Ordains Is Right

Letter from Newton

John Newton, from Letters of John Newton:

Therefore, do not be discouraged: usefulness and trials, comforts and crosses, strength and excercise go together. But remember He has said, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee; be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life." When you get to heaven, you will not complain of the way by which the Lord brought you.

HT: Doug Plank's post

Speak Truth

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,

my glory, and the lifter of my head.

- Psalm 3:3

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. - Hebrews 4:14-16

Now unto the King who reigns over all / And never changes or turns

Unfailing justice, unfading grace / Whose promises remain

Yes, Your promises remain

The heavens ring / The saints all sing / "Great is Your faithfulness"

From age to age / We will proclaim / "Great is Your faithfulness / How great is Your faithfulness"

Everything changes, but You stay the same / Your word and kingdom endure

We lean on the promise of all that You are / And trust forevermore

We will trust forevermore

From generation to generation / You never fail us, O God

Yesterday and today and tomorrow / Until the day You return

-Matt Redman

Oh Father, use my ransomed life

In any way You choose

And let my song forever be

My only boast is You

- Jordan Kauflin, All I Have Is Christ

recorded on Looked Upon

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now, faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:12-13

photo: shadows in our kitchen, 9/20/2008

Knowing and Not Knowing

It can be so strange to me what God chooses to do in life. The truth is though, that somehow God intricately designed the exact particulars of this season of my life for my good, for the good of his people, and for his glory. It doesn't make sense how it is best. I don't see the fruit and good that I want to see from all the difficulty and trial. But that is when I need to remember that God is God and I am not. I am not all-knowing. He is. Because I don't see something doesn't mean it's not there and very real and true.

What is God doing? I don't know - at least not to my satisfaction. So that is what has to change - I can be satisfied in the amount I know when I reflect on what it is that I know. I really do have knowledge of what God is doing. He is working to advance his gospel. He is working to conform me into the image of his Son. He is working to conform other Christians to the image of his Son too. He is working for all of our good. He is magnifying himself, so that we might see more of his glory. He is working to exalt Christ and glorify the Father. I really do know enough.

So when I don't understand, I need to trust in the things I do know. I know God. I want to know him more. I want that to be the point and aim of my life: to know God more, to grow in my love of Christ and become like him for the glory of God and the good of his people, both those who are his those who have yet to come to him. God is preparing me for eternity with Christ. And I cannot wait to see him there, along with the rest of his beautiful bride, made spotless by his blood. We are in process. We are not yet spotless. I don't want to resent that. But when I see my end is secure, I know I am secure here and now. And joy will come in the morning. "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning" (Psalm 30:5).

Do I really believe the good news of the gospel? Do I live in the hope of it each day? Do I view others through the lens of Christ's blood? May it be so, more and more.

Lord, take me deeper

Into the glories of Calvary

Forgiveness

Excerpts from Tim Lane and Paul Trip in Relationships: A Mess Worth Making; Chapter 9: Forgiveness. (Emphasis added.)

When you forgive someone, you cancel a debt. But, more specifically, you make a conscious choice to absorb the cost yourself. . . . No matter how you spin it, forgiveness is costly. Regardless of how big or small the offense, canceling a debt and absorbing the cost is going to hurt. But the parable [Matt. 18:21-35] shows us that not forgiving also has a price, and it is higher than the price forgiveness demands. . . .

We’re tempted to think that once we have forgiven someone, we’re done. But forgiving someone is not just a past event. It’s something we must continue to practice, even when we are dealing with an offense we have already forgiven. Even if I have forgiven you for something you have done in the past, I need to be careful that I don’t slip into bitterness some time in the future. I need to keep practicing forgiveness every time I see you or think of you. . . .

Mark 11:25 – And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Luke 17:3 – If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

The verses are talking about two different aspects of forgiveness. Mark 11:25 is talking about forgiveness as a heart attitude before God. The context is worship. When I consider someone’s sin as I stand before the Lord, I am called to have an attitude of forgiveness towards the person who sinned against me. This is non-negotiable. I do not have the right to withhold forgiveness and harbor bitterness in my heart. Luke 17:3, on the other hand, is talking about forgiveness as a horizontal transaction between me and the offender. This is often referred to as reconciliation. The point Luke 17:3 makes is that, while I am to have an attitude of forgiveness before the Lord, I can only grant forgiveness to the other person if he repents and admits he has sinned against me. Even if he never does this, I am called to maintain an attitude of forgiveness toward the offender. The vertical aspect of forgiveness is unconditional, but the horizontal aspect depends on the offender admitting guilt and asking for forgiveness.

…It is one thing to gain clarity on what forgiveness is and isn’t; it is another to actually practice it. 

As you ponder your true identity in Christ, do you recognize how wealthy you are? This is the only foundation for the kind of radical forgiveness Jesus calls you to practice. Only by grace can you do this. You can’t read and reread 1 Peter 1 and Matthew 18 and still want to rip someone apart. If you are a beneficiary of God’s costly grace, you will practice costly grace with others.

Let me close with this real life illustration. A Turkish officer raided and looted an Armenian home. He killed the aged parents and gave the daughters to the soldiers, keeping the eldest daughter for himself. Some time later she escaped and trained as a nurse. As time passed, she found herself nursing in a ward of Turkish officers. One night, by the light of a lantern, she saw the face of this officer. He was so gravely ill that without exceptional nursing he would die. The days passed, and he recovered. One day, the doctor stood by the bed with her and said to him, “But for her devotion to you, you would be dead.” He looked at her and said, “We have met before, haven’t we?” “Yes,” she said, “we have met before.” “Why didn’t you kill me?” he asked. She replied, “I am a follower of him who said ‘Love your enemies.’”

By God’s amazing grace, may we imitate this sister in Christ in our lives and relationships. 

photo: construction on the church property today

How Great is Our God

How great is our God, sing with me

How great is our God, and all will see

How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands

And time is in His hands

Beginning and the end

Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One

Father Spirit Son

The Lion and the Lamb

The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names

Worthy of our praise

My heart will sing

How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me

How great is our God, and all will see

How great, how great is our God

- Chris Tomlin

photo: fireworks at Creation Saturday night

Both Crying and Singing

Spurgeon in Morning and Evening for July 2nd:

Morning:

"Our heart shall rejoice in Him." - Psalms 33:21

Blessed is the fact that Christians can rejoice in the deepest distress; although trouble may surround them, they still sing; and, like many birds, they sing best in their cages. The waves may roll over them, but their souls soon rise to the surface and see the light of God's countenance; they have a buoyancy about them which keeps their head always above the water, and helps them to sing amid the tempest, "God is with me still." To whom shall the glory be given? Oh! to Jesus - it is all by Jesus. Trouble does not necessarily bring consolations with it to the believer, but the presence of the Son of God in the fiery furnace with him fills his heart with joy. . . .

Evening:

"Unto thee will I cry, O Lord my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit." - Psalms 28:1

A cry is the natural expression of sorrow, and a suitable utterance when all other modes of appeal fail us; but the cry must be alone directed to the Lord, for to cry to man is to waste our entreaties upon the air. When we consider the readiness of the Lord to hear, and his ability to aid, we shall see good reason for directing all our appeals at once to the God of our salvation. It will be in vain to call to the rocks in the day of judgment, but our Rock attends to our cries. . . .

How kind is God to give Spurgeon to me like an older wiser brother to point me to my Father and his revealed word? A picture came to my mind from his evening writing. Later in this passage, he says, "When God seems  to close his ear, we must not therefore close our mouths, but rather cry with more earnestness; for when our note grows shrill with eagerness and grief, he will not long deny us a hearing . . . surely the Lord will speak peace to our agitated minds, for he never can find it in his heart to permit his own elect to perish." It is like when my siblings and I were little children in our beds for the night. Wanting one or both of our parents to come back in to grant a request (a drink of water, the night light, a favorite stuffed animal, to sing us a song...basically anything to stall the necessity of going to sleep, but sometimes to pray with us to melt away nightly fears), we would yell their names from our beds. If they did not respond, we cried louder and louder. We would join our efforts into one voice together, "Maaaaaaaa-mee," or "Daaaaaaaa-dee." Spurgeon is like my older brother, encouraging me to cry louder to my Abba, and not to cry to another for what only He can help. He is not hushing a younger sibling out of annoyance, but spurring on by directing my cries to the only One who can hear and help.

Along with not chiding sorrowful cries, he is also promoting joyful songs in the midst of distress (in the morning passage). What a comfort to be allowed both "natural expressions of sorrow" and to "rejoice in deepest distress." My Father truly did send his Son to condescend to my level and his Spirit to commune with me. It is only his presence and promises that can unfailingly deliver joy in any moment whatsoever.

It does not matter if I be conflicted, confused, or numb, nor if tempted to sinful thoughts and feelings. My Father still calls me to himself. He still draws me. And he wants me to cry my griefs to him. And he wants me to sing praises to him. Whether tears on my checks one moment, or happy notes on my lips another - whether a despairing sickness that turns to knots in my stomach or a lightness of heart and eagerness for life reflecting trust like a child - my dear Abba welcomes both my sobbing cries and my joyful melodies of praise.

It is not up to me to understand. God holds me in his hand.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. - Psalm 16:11

There is nowhere I'd rather be than with my God. And guess what? He is always with me, and he is always drawing me. He wants me to come. And oh that I would learn to quietly come and be still at his side, knowing he is my God.

And he is more than enough. He always will be.

photo: AA field at Creation, Wednesday June 29th